Christmas Gifts

I absolutely concur with Matthew Baldwin's feelings about Christmas, expressed at The Morning News:

Yes, this is what Christmas has come to: People taking perfectly good money, converting it into a significantly less useful currency (i.e., one that can only be spent at Hancock Fabrics), and then unloading it onto others, in much the same way that Three Wise Men presented baby Jesus with gift cards from “The Precious Metal and Aromatic Gum Resin Warehouse and Emporium.”

It would be nice if we could someday cut out the middleman entirely. I envision a future where you just send your bank a list of family and acquaintances, and then, at midnight on Dec. 24, a cronjob triggers a suite of perl scripts that transfer $40 from your account to each person on your list. Just think of how relaxing Christmas morning will be when you no longer have to go through the tedium of opening presents or experiencing joy, and can instead log on to your credit union’s website to see how you made out.